Apple to build largest private fuel cell energy project, a nonpolluting, silent power plant that will generate electricity from hydrogen. The hydrogen, of course, will magically appear out of nowhere [Obvious]

After its security goons impersonate the police and ransack a guy's house, Apple makes the resulting lawsuit disappear. See, the iPhone really is magical [Interesting]

It's very simple, people:

- step outside your home, and close the door behind you.
- "Do you have a warrant?"
- if answer is anything other than "yes" and a presentation of signed, legal documents, then you respond "please fark off until you do. And get off my property in 30 seconds or i will have you prosecuted for trespassing."
- go back into your home, close the door, and call a lawyer.

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